Heated Rivalry: Why Marginalized People Fell Into Joy

Spoiler alert: We lead brutal lives but rely on hope

If you’re as tired as I am of reading an endless series of headlines opining on the subject of why women dared to like something, I’m at least going to promise you an exploration that goes a little farther afield.

First of all, there is no monolithic female archetype out there who represents which way all our heads have turned. We are individuals existing inside a culture that seeks to shame and violate us into an amorphous mass that can be easily controlled. As a result of that, we are forced into hypervigilance, clinging to our personhood with every molecule we possess because there is always someone trying to take that sense of self away. The least sign of rebellion and we are frogmarched to the fringes.

The thing about being shoved to the edges of society though, is that there are a lot of us living there. We are the ones Heated Rivalry is speaking to. It is convenient for small-minded clickbaiters to lump everyone who admits to finding joy in watching a celebration of love over oppression under the umbrella of a stereotype because in our society the term “women” is belittling. Add the words queer and romance and you’ve really got something that should not be taken seriously.

Their problem though, is that a lot of us are creators and/or people who love art and stories. We keep connecting with each other. And mass communication tools like the internet make it harder to keep us quiet. The story of Shane and Ilya was never about why any marginalized group falls in love. The answer to that is obvious. It’s what people do. It’s about the consequences of silencing that passion. What happens if desire is ignored? What if it only manifests in the shadows? If feelings appear, can they be nurtured within the dictates of restriction? Can love thrive in a cage?

These are questions that people who walk the tightrope between what is trending as normality and what they know to be their own reality live with every second of every day. This is why “Heated Rivalry” touched so many in such a profound way. Rachel Reid and Jacob Tierney both understood that the core of romance is hope. That no matter who we are, we all yearn for a place where we can be our true selves, where we are accepted, even if we won’t ever be fully understood.

The only way to instigate change is to speak it into reality. The act of creating will always take more effort and dedication than tearing the world apart. Heated Rivalry is showing us the strength and power of connection over soullessness in real time. It reminds us that hope is hard but it exists for a reason. It’s a building block. We use it every day to create stories of love and healing. The question was never why do women love Heated Rivalry? It’s why aren’t people allowed to love. And what will we decide to do about it.

• Thank you to Rachel Reid, Jacob Tierney, and the entire cast and crew of Heated Rivalry for daring to bring joy into the world. A special shoutout to the Loon Call podcast who speak so eloquently about hope and romance. Go check them out!